Escape

I can’t escape You … and I have no desire to escape You, my dear, my darling, Lord. I want you with me, and at times, I can’t bear what You bring with You. To live the FULLNESS of life, to have the capacity to experience the height and depth and breadth and width of emotion in each moment … ah, I touch it in some moments and I want to savor the awe of it … and then it’s gone. Or then it carries me on a wave where time suddenly has no meaning, and when I look around again, hours or sometimes days have passed.

I walk between worlds, equally real, equally important … but how do I integrate them? How do I flow between them in a way that I feel whole? How do I merge the inner and outer selves to bring the fullness of myself to a world that shouts for simplicity to a point of depersonalization and almost mechanization? How do I carve the space for relationship in a digital and often fractured world?

To speak “Love! Love! Love!” seems insufficient, because what do we mean by love? What does it mean to love God, to love neighbor, to love Self?

Sometimes, I don’t even know what my Self is – instead I’m drawn away, distracted, defined by how others see me, respond to me, create roles for me. Layer upon layer of expectation and responsibility weigh upon me, and then I become numb to my deepest self. And the freedom promised by Divine Love feels like a dream rather than the reality I am called to CLAIM as my own.

But then, You, my dear, my darling, pierce the numbness with the agony or the ecstasy. And in the raw, throbbing, aching pain or pleasure that feels like a wildfire, You whisper… “You’re not alone. You don’t have to spin out of control or fall into despair.”

You invite.. “Feel all the feels..and walk with me. Don’t resist or judge what you feel, rather acknowledge it all and BRING IT TO ME for healing, transformation, and liberation.”

You promise… “My power is made perfect in your weakness, because my power is Perfect Love, which drives out all fear, which takes away all power from death. I AM life!”

You call… “Come claim Life! Walk with Me! Cling to Me! THIS is the journey that is real, the one that embraces the FULLNESS of life. Come to me, in the dance of desire and delight. Come find me in ALL this … and I will lead you home.”