Psalm 52:8, 12, 19 “Still, you insist on sincerity of heart; in my inmost being teach me wisdom. A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit. My sacrifice, God, is a broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart.”
The winds of change are blowing. Space is opening. Worlds between worlds are intersecting, and “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.” The desperate longing, clinging, needing is softening, transmuting, transforming. Truth is as deeply felt as it is known mentally and emotionally. Parallel lives have become sunbursts of connection in intimate groups.
And now… words once hidden among early-morning-rising pages are being made flesh in this world. My Voice, my Spirit-led, soul’s whisper is taking form, and safe spaces are being created for heart-souls to speak to heart-souls.
I don’t need to numb. I don’t need to hide. I can ask for my deepest, most vulnerable desires. I can start to distill all the passionate intensity of me into just the one thing in the moment that arises, and trust that the one thing is what needs to be fully known in the heart-soul groups that are, in fact, the mystical body of Christ made manifest in the world.
And none of it… NONE of it, could have happened, if my world hadn’t been turned upside down and inside out when I started with Carilion-Bridgewater Family Medicine on 8/6/2010. None of it… NONE of it, could have been, if I hadn’t had You to cling to in the midst of agonizing, ecstatic change when I started Your practice and my Love-offering on 8/6/2018. And if I hadn’t had my soul’s mirror reflecting me in every moment, reflecting the both/and heights and depths of me… I couldn’t have borne the darkness, wouldn’t have had the courage to allow light to illuminate the shadow, wouldn’t have grown in my faith to hold all of it gently and sit with all the feels of it and allow true healing to begin at the most radical and fundamental levels. In the darkness, I found You in a way that I never could have found… never did find… in the light.
In the depths, where the surrender was inevitable and complete… there was Life blessed, broken, and shared, with all barriers to Love fully ripped away.
There in the darkness, when the only light was You to keep me hopeful as I travelled deeper .. Your light shining in safe spaces and safe people… it was there that I learned what a true leap of faith is- a terrorizing, trembling, whole body-mind-soul sitting-with and being-led in every single moment that is both no movement and complete destruction at the same time.
The leap of faith is the trust that ALL roads lead to Love. And Your road, which makes the least sense of all in the world, is the only road that makes sense when ALL parallel lives become One.
I am ready. I am ready in a new way to be Love, to receive Love, to offer Love. Because now I know Love in a new way. I have both been Transformed and am being Transformed.
So many years ago, the revelation – “Enough is enough, Arlene. You can’t out swim Grace.”Finally, last year, with my assent to Embrace as my Word, I turned and held my heart-soul wide open to embrace Grace.
And in the looking back at everything that unfolded, and looking now at what is emerging..What else could I, would I, should I, have expected, when I asked to Embrace Grace?
Love changes Everything.
Love never fails.
And oh, my Love, my Life, my Everything… how grateful I am for Your promise!