10/30/2018: Re-hashing

It’s been a long time, friends. I’m sorry for my silence. I admittedly ran from the vulnerability that revealed itself as I wrote. Was I sharing too much? Sounding too silly? Repeating myself? Re-hashing the same story?

My heart didn’t feel strong enough to be vulnerable both in words and in person with the myriad of people who have entered my life.

I had to retreat into solitude, and since writing is my personal consolation, I had to keep my writing private, in order to integrate the experiences of the past months.

But as October comes to a close, and the holiday season starts to shift into gear, I wanted to offer this reflection…

In the end, it’s about gratitude. Being grateful for the life we are gifted… so grateful, we want to give back as fully as we have received. We are offered the gift of one moment… maybe expanded into hours or days or years. But do we RECEIVE or RESIST the gift?

We can only receive when we love.
We resist when we fear.

With love, we desire relationship and we ALLOW ourselves to be TRANSFORMED in ways that INCREASE our capacities for knowing, accepting, and the giving the very, very best of who we are… which is our deepest, most vulnerable, and completely unique Self.

We unpeel and release mask upon mask to reveal our complex, nuanced, full Humanity – frail and uncertain, but always loved, already good enough, and already worthy… if only we have the courage to CLAIM these gifts of who we are again & again & again… and OFFER these gifts of who we are again & again & again.

All roads lead to Love. Who are the companions on our journey? These people make all the difference. Our companions change us, transform us.

Do they increase our capacities:
to receive & give Love?
to accept & offer Thanks?
to trust enough to SURRENDER Fear?

We don’t know what life will bring. We can’t know.

But even in the not-knowing, if we can offer gratitude for each moment that comes, if we can feel ALL the feels… in those moments we are fully ALIVE, fully PARTICIPATING in the Divine Dance of Desire & Delight, of agony & ecstasy… And it’s in gently holding the tension, in accepting the paradox, that we finally touch the Mystery of God, Divine Love … our Ultimate Desire, our Ultimate Delight.