08/09/2018: Labor pains

11: 21 pm, 8/8/18

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.” – Psalm 121: 1-2

It was 9:39 pm on 8/8, and I was exhausted. I had spent the previous 14 hours navigating 3 jobs, working on my business, and interviewing for an opportunity that could expand this business that was only 3 days new.

I wanted to go home, but my feet wouldn’t let me walk out of the nursing home. Instead, I walked down the hall towards the chapel. I stopped midway, “I don’t have time for this.” And at the midway point was an open Bible, and my eyes fixed upon Psalm 121. I hesitated – “I’m just supposed to read this and go home, right?” My feet shuffled, then steadied, and then kept on moving towards the dark chapel, illuminated by the light behind the large cross.

I plopped down in a chair, and closed my eyes. OK, a few deep breaths, and then I can go home, right?

Not quite.

A few deep breaths, and then the whispered refrain, “I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired.” And the more I said the words, the tears I didn’t know were there, welled up and overflowed. And my whole body shook, and I bowed my head, and I wept with a pain I didn’t know I had, that I didn’t know needed to be released. And I sobbed until there were no more tears.

I had endured the pain of the past 14 hours doing, and doing, and doing.

It was now time to embrace the silence and stillness of the relationship above all relationships that grants me the strength to endure, then invites me to restore.

It was as if I had experienced 14 hours of labor pains, expanding and contracting over and over again. Feeling physically and emotionally confined, then free, then confined again.

And as my body, and mind, and spirit quieted, a calm certainty came over me, and the matter-of-fact command, “It’s time to give birth fully. It’s time to fly free.”

I walked out of the chapel, steadied but still uncertain.

What did that mean? I looked up Angel Number 939 (the time I sat in the chair in the chapel): “Let go of any situations in your life that are no longer serving a positive purpose. Push aside limiting beliefs that hold you back in any way and take control of what you wish to make of your life. Look for more suitable alternatives that will enhance your life and your spiritual path. Do not cling to situations out of fear and do not allow any negative aspects to hinder or stop you…. Your skills and talents as a lightworker are desperately needed by the world at this time and you are urged to get to work on your life purpose without delay.”

I wanted to go home and sleep. But it wasn’t time.

I got home, ate a cold supper left on the kitchen counter by a loving husband, then fired up the computer and finished the final edits on my webpage,

At 11:11 pm, I sent my web developer the message to take the website, McCain Whole Health Care, live.

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.” – Psalm 121: 1-2

Indeed, I lifted up my eyes.
My help came.

And the LORD, which made heaven and earth, has made a new creation in me.

The labor pains are over.
It’s time to give birth.

12 AM, 8/9/18